Haven’t written a blog in almost a month. We aren’t in the best of places right now. OCD is running our lives.
We normally spend almost a week at my in-laws lake house over the 4th of July. This year because the OCD is so bad we decided to only go for two or three nights. After attempting to visit my family for a few days we decided G and I shouldn’t even go. Hubby and my older daughter left on Sunday and we stayed home and did some things here.
Decided to attempt to salvage some family time and G and I drove 3 hours today to be there with them. Should not have gone. She had a little fun but it was more trouble than it was worth. OCD ruined everything and she and I ended up driving home that night. We were gone a total of 12 and 1/2 hours and 6 of them were driving. I hate this miserable disease and all that it is stealing from us. She is getting worse by the day. Our time at Mayo can’t come quick enough. Praying it helps. And after we got home I ate a bunch of junk food because I stress eat. So now not only was I mad at OCD but I was mad at myself too
Focusing on the positive was something I’d been doing well on but it’s been a struggle lately. Things are tough so I’ve been feeling pretty negative. It’s affecting me mentally of course but also physically. I’m tired, achy, grumpy, and just blah. I’m working hard to focus my efforts on positive again because I hate feeling like this and being negative isn’t solving anything!
About a year ago I got this tattoo on my forearm. It stands for courage, strength and faith. I got it so that I can always see it and be reminded that I have these things. Lately I’ve been forgetting.
I’ve been listening to an audio book recently and it talked about having a “headstone” something in front of you, that you see often, to remind you that you are working towards your goals. That is the exact reason I got this tattoo but I haven’t been using it that way lately.
I’ve started reminding myself every time I see the tattoo and it’s helping me to feel stronger mentally.
I’m doing everything I can do be strong for myself and for my family. Life is not an excuse! Heading to Mayo Clinic next week. Say a prayer for us!
About 2 months ago a woman from my home town (just a few years younger than me) lost her daughter due to a drunk driver. She has been sharing Livi’s story with everyone. She was a kind, loving little girl who loved to help people. Without knowing how big it would become she started the #livinforlivi movement and it’s been amazing. It’s so easy. Just be nice. Be kind. Help someone. Pay it forward.
Love always wins
Alivia’s Mom posts “all I ask of all of you to do is Live for Livi. Give for no reason, love , share , make someone smile and just be kind! Oh and NEVER Drink and Drive!”
I saw a post on Facebook recently about “lunch shaming” for kids whose lunch balances at school are too high. Who knows why these parents haven’t kept up with it? It doesn’t matter.
I asked at school and I was able to pay off the balance for several families. I don’t share this so that everyone says “Look at her being generous” I share this because I want everyone to do something nice for someone else. I don’t know who these families are that I helped. I don’t care. I’m just glad I was fortunate enough to do it and I hope that they pay it forward in some way.
You never know what battles someone else is fighting and how just a small kindness can turn the tide for them.
Happy Friday!!! It’s supposed to be a beautiful day here and I’m looking forward to enjoying it. Today is Guest Reader day at G’s school as part of March is Reading Month. I’ll be taking off the mom hat and putting on the Black Belt hat and reading to the 3rd and 4th grades today. I’ll also demonstrated some karate
by breaking two 1” thick bricks (yes I can do that! Amazing, right?!) It’s crazy that I’m more nervous about reading and talking to the kids than I am about breaking the bricks! Talking in front of large groups (even 8-10 year olds) gives me a lot of anxiety! But I can’t expect G to fight her OCD monster if I don’t fight mine!
We had a somewhat crazy morning here. First L, got up late so she was rushing a bit. G loves to go out and ride her bike or swing before school. Doesn’t matter if it’s 7:30 in the morning and still cold. This girl loves to be outside and active. Her teacher and I have also come to realize that on the days she doesn’t do this, she has a much harder day at school. Anyway, apparently her bike helmet was contaminated because she left it on her bike last night instead of bringing it inside. Makes total sense right? So she tries to put water on it but Daddy catches her and doesn’t allow it. So what does my creative little girl do? Takes the helmet to the back yard where there is a sled that is filled with rain and melted snow and dunks the helmet! I mean, that water is so clean, right? Anyway, we see this and make her do an exposure right away like we learned at Mayo Clinic (to read more about our time there check out Mayo Clinic Saved My Family)
After dealing with this I was getting a late start to my workout and then to make it even better the Beachbody on Demand site I use wouldn’t load (maintenance or something I guess). In the past I would have just said “screw it” and gone about my day. But I know how much I need that workout to clear my head and set me up for a good day. Thankfully I’m doing Hammer and Chisel right now and there are sheets listing all the moves to track your weights. So I pulled that out and just did the moves on my own. The site started working about ½ way through so I fast forwarded it to where I was and finished out my workout.
Then I grab G’s lunch out of the fridge to put in her lunch box only to realize it’s L’s lunch! When I packed L’s lunch I must have grabbed the wrong container. So after dropping G at school, I drive up to L’s school to switch the lunches. Thankfully I work at G’s school doing lunch and recess duty so I can just take her lunch with me then.
The moral of the story
Anyway, moral to this long winded story is don’t let the problems define your attitude! In the past this would have made me stressed out and grumpy and just ruined my whole day. Today I made a choice not to let it bother me. I solved all the problems, all is well and I moved on! I decided not to let my attitude be the problem!
How do you shake off a bad morning?
It’s all about the attitude!
P.S. In case you are wondering if I broke the bricks
(If you listen you can hear my daughter defending me when it didn’t break)