About 2 months ago a woman from my home town (just a few years younger than me) lost her daughter due to a drunk driver. She has been sharing Livi’s story with everyone. She was a kind, loving little girl who loved to help people. Without knowing how big it would become she started the #livinforlivi movement and it’s been amazing. It’s so easy. Just be nice. Be kind. Help someone. Pay it forward.
Love always wins
Alivia’s Mom posts “all I ask of all of you to do is Live for Livi. Give for no reason, love , share , make someone smile and just be kind! Oh and NEVER Drink and Drive!”
I saw a post on Facebook recently about “lunch shaming” for kids whose lunch balances at school are too high. Who knows why these parents haven’t kept up with it? It doesn’t matter.
I asked at school and I was able to pay off the balance for several families. I don’t share this so that everyone says “Look at her being generous” I share this because I want everyone to do something nice for someone else. I don’t know who these families are that I helped. I don’t care. I’m just glad I was fortunate enough to do it and I hope that they pay it forward in some way.
You never know what battles someone else is fighting and how just a small kindness can turn the tide for them.
A few months ago I started listening to personal development podcasts in the morning while getting ready. Before I used to listen to music but I decided this was a better use of my time. Lately I’ve been thinking that music has its importance too.
I’ve been struggling with my anxiety and confidence lately so the last few days I decided to listen to what I call my anthems in the morning. These are songs that I really connect with. They speak to me. I feel stronger after listening to them. I sing along with them, loudly (I can’t sing so I know it sounds terrible but I don’t care!)
These are the 4 that are on my “Anthem” playlist right now. Let it Go(yes the one from Frozen) by Idina Menzel
The lyrics of this song resonated so strongly with me I cried in the middle of the movie theater. You can read more about that here. Don’t Put Dirt on My Grave From the TV show Nashville
This one really hits home for me with my anxiety and helping my daughter fight her OCD. I keep getting stronger and if you push me I’ll push harder!
This time it’s goodbye trouble I feel the light at the end of this tunnel I get stronger with every step Come Hell, come high water You push on me I’m going to push back harder I got a whole lot more than a little bit left Oh, so don’t put dirt on my grave just yet Oh, don’t put dirt on my grave just yet
Roar by Katy Perry
Things can hold me down but I’m always going to get back up because I’m a fighter!
You held me down, but I got up (hey!) Already brushing off the dust You hear my voice, your hear that sound Like thunder, gonna shake your ground You held me down, but I got up Get ready ’cause I’ve had enough I see it all, I see it now I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter Dancing through the fire ‘Cause I am the champion, and you’re gonna hear me roar Louder, louder than a lion ‘Cause I am a champion, and you’re gonna hear me roar!
Fight Song by Rachel Platten
I’m taking back my life and proving that I’m going to be alright!
This is my fight song Take back my life song Prove I’m alright song My power’s turned on Starting right now I’ll be strong I’ll play my fight song And I don’t really care if nobody else believes ‘Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me
They are my anthems. What about you? What song hits home for you?
Music can be so powerful. It can make you smile, laugh and cry. It can bring back memories. I know whenever I hear songs from the 90’s I’m taken back to high school sock hops. Music can be therapeutic too.
Did you know May is Mental Health Awareness Month? I decided it was the perfect time to share what I call…
My Coming out Story
Obviously now I’m open and posting about my and G’s struggles with mental illness. Sure didn’t used to be that way. Instead I was embarrassed and ashamed. I must have done something wrong for us to be like this.
I remember the turning point for me. As silly as it might sound, seeing the movie Frozen changed it all. I still member sitting in the movie theater with tears running down my cheeks. The whole concept of Elsa hiding her magic, concealing it so others wouldn’t know she was different, just really related for me. When she sang, “Let it Go”, so many of the lyrics resonated with me.
“It’s a kingdom of isolation and it looks like I’m the queen” I felt so alone in this battle.
“The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside. Couldn’t keep it in; Heaven knows I’ve tried” We tried so hard to keep it all in and keep it hidden but it was hurting us and getting harder.
“Don’t let them in, don’t let them see. Be the good girl you always have to be. Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know.” Don’t let anyone know about our problems. Be good and keep it hidden.
“I don’t care what they’re going to say. Let the storm rage on. The cold never bothered me anyway” Why are we worrying so much about what other people are going to think?
“The fears that once controlled me can’t get to me at all. It’s time to see what I can do to test the limits and break through” What could I do if I talked about it openly? How much different could things be?
Let it Go
It really hit home for me that it was time to stop hiding and “Let it Go”. I was expending so much energy trying to be “normal” that I should be using to help G, and myself, learn to live with the illness. Once Elsa embraced her magic, she learned that she could control it and I felt once we embraced our illnesses we could do the same.
Now anxiety and depression are just a part of me, they don’t define me. OCD is just part of who G is. She’s 8, she’s blond, and she has OCD. It just is. I often relate it to being diabetic. Our bodies, and a diabetic’s body, don’t produce the right amount of a chemical that we need to function. We need to learn to modify our life (eating differently, fighting the compulsions) and sometimes take medication to help us; and that’s OK. There’s no shame, no stigma to physical illnesses. There shouldn’t be any with a mental illness either. If I can share our story, our struggles, and our victories and help others who struggle and educate people, why shouldn’t I? After all, if I don’t speak up, who will?
Do you have a song that really resonates with you?
As I’ve shared previously, I’ve been on a healthy living journey for about 18 months now. It’s not always easy and I fall off the wagon just like anyone else. I’m only human after all.
I’ve been going through the motions for a few weeks, probably months now. Things have been rough at home. My husband has been working late most nights. G’s OCD has come back just about as bad as before we went to Mayo Clinic (you can read about that here if you are interested). Thankfully, now we have the tools to get her back on track but doing all those exposures is exhausting for her and me. This leaves me open to falling back into my anxiety and depression, which leads to my bad habits.
I’ve let it get the better of me. While I’ve been getting in my workouts they’ve been half-assed and my eating has been WAY off track. I’ve resorted to comfort food way too many times. I don’t know why I believe the peanut butter when it tells me it will make everything better. What? I’m the only one who can hear the peanut butter? I can tell that I’ve slacked, both on the scale and in how I feel.
New day, new attitude
But that ends today!! I pushed hard in my Hammer & Chisel workout this morning (notice all that sweat on my shirt?) and I got my Portion Fix containers back out. No more half- assed workouts and no more “eyeballing” portions or resorting to comfort food! Yes, I’m having issues in my home life but that should be a REASON to work out and eat right, not an EXCUSE! I need to be strong to help my little girl and myself!
Why am I sharing this?
– For accountability! Yes, I’m a coach but that doesn’t mean I don’t need help.
– Because I’m human! I fall off the wagon too.
– To show you that you can start or start over too, at any time!
You don’t need a New Year or month or whatever. Just a new day! What have you been putting off? Start now!
Want to join with me? Contact me today and we can do this together!
I had been planning a rest day today before starting a new workout program tomorrow . Since it’s such a nice day out I decided to take my little one with me (she rode her bike) and I went for a walk. I decided to focus on enjoying the movement and being present in the moment.
I used to walk just about every day for my exercise. I’d wear my Fitbit and/or a Heart Rate Monitor and focus on pace and calories burned. I’d get irritated if my kids were with me and wanted to stop and look at something, or if a neighbor was out and wanted to chat. It was all about the numbers for me.
Therefore, some days I enjoyed it, but most I didn’t. If I didn’t burn enough calories or beat my previous pace, I’d be upset. And if I happened to be slower than normal, oh the horror! And worst of all, I wasn’t seeing results.
Today the only gadget I had was my phone for some music. I waved to neighbors and stop to chat with a few. I looked at every pretty rock G wanted to show me and listened to whatever she had to say. When she wanted to ride farther ahead I listened to music. I enjoyed the sun, the breeze and signs of spring.
I know how far I went because it’s the route I always take, however, I have no idea how long it took or how many calories I burned. Best of all, I don’t care!
Be present. Enjoy the sun. Listen to your kids. Enjoy the moment! Where ever you are, be all there!